Therapy language is everywhere these days: in memes, TikToks, relationship advice posts, and even casual conversations. On one hand, it’s wonderful that more people are talking about mental health. But on the other, many therapy-related terms are being misused, watered down, or taken out of context.
This can lead to confusion, self-diagnosis, or the invalidation of real emotional experiences.
At Madison Square Mental Health, we believe in empowering you with accurate, compassionate mental health education. Whether you’re in therapy or just therapy-curious, understanding the real meaning behind these commonly misused words can help you navigate your relationships, emotions, and healing journey more effectively.
Commonly Misused Therapy Terms
1. Triggered
What people think it means:
“Annoyed,” “offended,” or “uncomfortable.”
What it actually means:
To be “triggered” means experiencing a strong emotional or physiological response (often anxiety, panic, or dissociation) because something reminded you of past trauma. It’s not just being upset or disagreeing with someone.
Why it matters:
Casually using “triggered” to describe everyday annoyances minimizes what trauma survivors experience. Feeling triggered can derail someone’s whole day, and healing from triggers is a core part of trauma therapy.
2. Gaslighting
What people think it means:
Lying, disagreeing, or hurting someone’s feelings.
What it actually means:
Gaslighting is a pattern of psychological manipulation that causes someone to question their own reality, memory, or sanity. It’s a form of emotional abuse, often used to gain control or avoid accountability.
Why it matters:
Calling every disagreement “gaslighting” dilutes the seriousness of real gaslighting. If you’re being manipulated into doubting your own perception, that’s worth unpacking with a therapist.
3. Boundaries
What people think it means:
Telling people what to do or cutting people off completely.
What it actually means:
Boundaries are guidelines you set for how you want to be treated. They’re about taking care of yourself, not controlling others. Boundaries can be firm and kind at the same time.
Why it matters:
When people misuse the concept of boundaries to justify avoidance or emotional shutdown, it can harm relationships rather than strengthen them.
4. Narcissist
What people think it means:
Anyone who’s selfish or full of themselves.
What it actually means:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical diagnosis involving a persistent pattern of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and a need for excessive admiration. True narcissists often use manipulation and lack self-awareness.
Why it matters:
Labeling every ex or rude coworker as a narcissist is dismissive of those struggling with the real disorder and it can prevent us from taking accountability in our own relationships.
5. Toxic
What people think it means:
Someone I don’t like, or someone who hurt my feelings.
What it actually means:
“Toxic” refers to behavior or dynamics that are consistently harmful to your mental or emotional well-being. One disagreement or mistake doesn’t make someone toxic.
Why it matters:
Throwing around the word “toxic” can be a way to avoid dealing with conflict or uncomfortable feelings. It’s okay to walk away from harmful relationships, but clarity helps us grow.
6. Trauma
What people think it means:
Any difficult experience or stressor.
What it actually means:
Trauma is the emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Trauma isn’t about what happened; it’s about how it impacted you.
Why it matters:
Understanding trauma helps normalize your healing process. And while not everything is trauma, therapy can help you explore unresolved pain of any kind.
7. Attachment Issues
What people think it means:
Being clingy or texting someone too much.
What it actually means:
Attachment theory describes how your early relationships with caregivers shape your relational patterns in adulthood. Anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles are common responses to unmet emotional needs.
Why it matters:
Learning your attachment style can help you form healthier relationships, but it’s not about labeling yourself as “broken.” It’s about understanding and healing.
8. Self-Care
What people think it means:
Bubble baths and shopping sprees.
What it actually means:
Self-care means engaging in activities that support your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Sometimes self-care is restful, but it can also be setting boundaries, going to therapy, or drinking enough water.
Why it matters:
True self-care often isn’t glamorous; it’s intentional. It’s what helps you function and feel safe in your own body and mind.
9. Validation
What people think it means:
Agreeing with someone or always making them feel good.
What it actually means:
Validation means acknowledging someone’s emotions as real and understandable, even if you don’t agree with them. It’s the opposite of dismissing or minimizing someone’s feelings.
Why it matters:
Learning how to validate others (and yourself) is a powerful step toward emotional intimacy and self-compassion.
10. Dissociation
What people think it means:
Zoning out or getting distracted.
What it actually means:
Dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism where a person disconnects from thoughts, feelings, or sense of self, especially in response to overwhelming stress or trauma. It can range from daydreaming to feeling completely detached from your body or reality.
Why it matters:
If you often feel “checked out,” foggy, or disconnected, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself safely.
Final Thoughts on Misused Therapy Terms: Language Matters
Using therapy terms accurately isn’t about gatekeeping; it’s about respecting the real emotional weight they carry. When we understand the difference between pop psychology and clinical reality, we open ourselves to deeper healing and more meaningful connections.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, or unsure how to process your emotions, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. At Madison Square Mental Health, our compassionate, therapists are here to support you through anxiety, trauma, life transitions, and everything in between.
We offer virtual therapy for clients in New York and South Carolina with flexible scheduling and insurance options. Let’s find what healing looks like for you… on your terms.
